Sunday, September 2, 2012

Advice To The Kid Given The Choice Today Between Jumping In Puddles Or Going To Chuck E Cheese

Listen kid, for what it's worth, this old man says jump in the puddles. I know your mom was upset and issued a rather stern ultimatum in the parking lot, one that seemed unfair--either jump in the parking lot's puddles or continue on to Chuck E Cheese and somebody's birthday party (obviously not your birthday party, because I assume if it were your birthday she'd indulge you a bit and let you do both)--but that's life kid, you can't always do everything. Now I know she said, "The choice is yours," but I'm thinking she was bluffing a bit (although, who knows, maybe she was looking for a way out of going to Chuck E Cheese for another kid's party--God knows she wouldn't have been the first--and if she'd saved the receipt, she could have easily gotten a refund on that nicely wrapped present she carried in one arm while the other coaxed you away from that puddle, and she could have easily left a message, or, better yet, God bless modern technology, texted some reason as to why you and she couldn't make the party). But in the larger scheme of things, she was most correct--the choice is yours: a day (or life) of jumping in puddles or going to Chuck E Cheese. It's only my opinion, but I say take the puddle route over the Chuck E Cheese route. Chuck E Cheese is noisy and the games are all pretty regimented--and costly. Jumping in puddles is really a lot more fun. You can make up your own games and noises. Chuck E Cheese, like cockroaches, will always be there. Puddles come and go, which means their pleasures are more to be treasured. Looking back on it, I'm sure you'll prize the muddy splotches on your legs and clothes over some plastic Chuck E Cheese token and a balloon that'll soon lose its air. One can do much worse than be a jumper of puddles. The choice is yours.