A Good Pair

So yesterday was Father's Day and tomorrow is my mother's birthday. A good pair indeed. In honor of them, I'm posting one of my mother's favorite poems. I think my father would have liked it too. Like today, it's long, but funny. Read it.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
When uncreative
Use the tried and true



Willy and Nilly were feeling really silly
So without dilly or dally
They decided to have a party
At their split-level duplex time-share in Trinidad and Tobago.
They invited all their friends and foes alike:
Helter and Skelter
Heebie and Jeebies
Nooks and Crannies
Flotsam and Jetsam
Flora and Fauna
Kit and Kaboodle
Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee
Et cetera et cetera.

You see it was a party to celebrate
Partnerships and co-dependents
And so Zig and Zag were there
As well as Click and Clack
Along with Pitter and Patter
And even Frick and Frack
(Yes, even those two queens
because Willy and Nilly
don’t think there’s anything wrong with that
and besides, Frick and Frack
make the best party dance mixes, Oh my God:
Thompson Twins
Scritti Politti
Hayzie Fantazie
And of course, Willy and Nilly’s
All time fave raves,
Milli Vanilli.)

Ping and Pong and Yin and Yang
Brought some great takeout
And Sturm und Drang brought the beer
But ended up brooding alone in a corner
All night long.
Bob and Weave couldn’t sit still
And danced up a storm with
Do’s and Don’t’s
While Ebb and Flow came and went
Hither and yon with To and Fro.

Fair or foul, though,
There were some no-shows of course,
The hoity toity who wouldn’t be caught
Dead or alive, wracked and ruined
With the hoi polloi.
You know who I’m talking about,
The rich and famous,
The famous and the infamous:
Bells and Whistles
Bricks and Mortar
Wine and Dine
Piss and Vinegar
This and That
Smoke and Mirrors
Bread and Circuses
Prim and Proper (naturally)
And even those
John Bull Brit Limeys
Fish and Chips
And Fook and Shite.

Unfortunately,
Bling Bling and
Hubba Hubba
Couldn’t make it as they
Were all off celebrating
Their joint releases from Sing Sing
By double dating in Bora Bora
After a stopover in Walla Walla
Where they were seen eating
Mahi Mahi and doing the Can Can
To Duran Duran yada yada yada.

But despite all the fun and games
The balls and jacks
The ands and buts and
Ifs and whens
The chips and salsa
And the dinner and drinks,
The party wasn’t all honky dory
Happy go lucky
Live and let live,
Because Willy and Nilly, in trying to mean well
Minded their p’s and q’s
Too far and wide and made sure
To dot all the i’s and ears
And criss cross all the t’s and crumpets.
The long and short of it is they invited
All the unequal pairs too,
Thinking that six of one equals
A half dozen of the other.
So, a bunch of stags showed up
Plus an attitude and minus their better or worse
But certainly more popular halves
Who had better or best places
To be seen and heard
And people to meet and greet.
Hue was there with a heavy sigh
But without his Cry.
Hurly looked fragile sans Burly
And while Blight attended, Urban was out on the town.
Forth was there but didn’t Sally, sadly and
Hale was there looking like a lonely Stan Laurel
Without his Hardy.
Vim with no Vigor stood next to
Null, trying to fill the Void
But Null would have none of it,
Preferring to groove all alone to his Ipod
Filled as it was with nothing but
The solo albums of Art Garfunkel and John Oates.

Stupidly ignorant, everybody steered clear of Shinola.

Un-attached for the night, Kempt and Couth
Sat quietly on the couch hoping Ruth would show,
But she’s too nice ever to go out without Less.
Brimstone hectored everybody with his
Slings and arrows because Fire had a baptism
To perform that night
While Shuck complained she was sick of Jive’s jive
But got no tea or sympathy from Tat
Who moaned and groaned
“You think it’s easy being with Tit? Ha! Slim and none.
Everybody wants Tit!”

Luckily, there was no Havoc for Wreak to wreak
And without Cast, Aspersions sat harmlessly
At the bar and grill repeatedly asking a lonely Herky,
“Hey, how come you married such a Jerky? Ha ha.
Nudge nudge, wink wink.”
Beck was home alone
Never having gotten the call about the party
Because Call was out with Response.
Riddance wasn’t feeling Good.
And Girded had no Loins to do his thing
While Parcel was just looking for someone to part
And so, ultimately,
The party was a bit topsy turvy
Fair to middling
Both good and bad
For goose and gander alike
Come si
Come sa
Que sera sera
Take it or leave it
Heaven or hell
If you want anymore
You can write or wrong it yourself.