Wiki-leeks?

I'm not a bad speller, but I'm a horrible typist. So, in my effort to do a little research into the wiki-leaks scandal in order to impart on the matter some of the wisdom my readers depend on so fervently, I inadvertently misspelled leaks. My what a can of worms that little faux pas opened. Who knew the world of leek farming was so riddled with iniquity? From the farmer outside of Davenport, Iowa, who brings his wares to market with a should-be criminal leer and the come hither rasp, "Anybody wanna squeeze my leeks?" to the Topeka lady who chronically shoplifts leeks from the local Whole Foods Market (suffice it to say she's an A-cup coming in through the out door and a Double D going out through the in), the leek subculture here in America is revolting. But where are the media's priorities? We're the world's Super Power--no shit we should be spying on UN flaks and telling tales out of school about European dandies. If we're charged with constantly saving the world and smacking down all the two-bit tyrants around the globe nobody else is gutsy enough to deal with, why shouldn't we have the right to talk behind all their backs? Big whoop, should be our government's one and only response to the world's outrage, I say. But when the Baxter Brothers (all four and a half of them, plus the sister-in-law who's well on her way to becoming a brother-in-law) of Pierre, South Dakota, are well-nigh on their way to cornering the market on leeks so that they can gouge us all dry post-Rapture, something must be done. Somebody haul Anderson Cooper out from under Lady Gaga's table ('tis true, read it here) and put him on the case. One little typo has made me appreciate all over again what I thought was the untainted goodness of leeks, and to put this scandal-ridden world in the proper perspective. There's nothing as overrated as a global diplomatic fracas and as underrated as a good leek.