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To be honest, though, I almost want to defend the undergrad, because really, what's the harm, but anybody who describes what, from all apparent evidence, seems to be a rather kind and generous security guard's handling of the situation as, "got all up in my grill," needs a little law and order exacted upon him. If your neighbor starts yelling at you about your unmown lawn as you're barbequing some ribs, or if the ghetto drug dealer starts pulling your teeth against your will because you don't have enough money, then the expression "got all up in my grill," qualifies as appropriate. Otherwise, nope, dude. Meander over to the hard science labs and they'll assure you it is physically impossible for the phrases "banging out my business paper" and "got all up in my grill" to coexist anywhere, especially in a computer lab.
Secondly, while I admit I have absolutely no idea what "business capping" is all about (I do give you credit for banging out 48 or so pages on the subject [and readers of this blog think verbosity is a problem!]), let me instruct you in some Latin, as in non sequitur, as in, loosely translated, what the hell does that mean? Look son, grab a twelve pack and write me a 58 or so page paper explaining what this sentence means: "Fact: Drinking in the Donnelly Computer Lab is undeniably frowned upon, making this write-up absolutely valid." Now, sure, I understand the stress of the incident (whose blood pressure doesn't geyser when somebody gets all up in one's grill?) combined with the KO of a Rolling Rock can seriously mess with one's equilibrium, but am I to deduce from this logic that anything that is "undeniably frowned upon" (technically, frowns, and, when you think about it, the act of frowning upon something, are pretty clear-cut entities; has one ever manufactured a deniable frown?), is ergo something that can be validly written-up? Good God, man, unleash the kegs, there's going to be a lot of writing-up around here. Let me clue you in on something, kid: If every interaction between a college kid drinking where he isn't supposed to be and a (perhaps, though I see no evidence of it, overzealous) campus security guard validated a "write-up" from the student, well, the world would have drowned in write-ups about two years after higher education and alcohol first met (which brings up a rather interesting side question, ala chicken and egg: which came first, college or beer?). And congratulations, kid, you're the one billionth beer-drinking college kid in history to have his grill all gotten up into by a campus security guard. Welcome to the club, here's an insulated beer cozy for your efforts.
And furthermore, kid, do you know how lucky you are to being attending college in this PC Age of sensitivity training? My favorite part of this whole thing is that security guard demanded the student save his paper before ushering him to "security." Talk about good cop/bad cop being embodied in one man. One minute the guy's all grill getting up into and the next he's looking out for the kid by "demanding" the kid save his work. Take a stand, son: If The Man demands you save, delete instead. That would be the only valid thing to do, from my 99% viewpoint.
Oh to be young again and so impassioned. I certainly hope the young man treated himself to a diatribe beer after all the all-up-in-his-grilling his homework beer got him.
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