Happy Holidays From The Kitschies

My how time scoots along, don't it? It seems like just a fortnight ago that Jenny was settling into her second month of pregnancy, Denny was beginning to squint at the cereal box too much, baby Lenny was just starting to come to grips with Daddy Kenny's moustache, and all of us Kitschies were trimming (finding the right slots for all the aluminum branches) the tree. And now look at us: Jenny is navigating month 14 with aplomb, Denny's cool eyewear is the hit of his entire Cub Scout Pack, baby Lenny is starting to sprout an authentic Kitschie 'do, and Kenny's still gloating over his second place finish in the William H. Macy lookalike contest at the Halloween Bowl-a-Thon down at Wonder Lanes (and a 583 series to boot, a personal best! Look out Earl Anthony!) (We hear next year's contest might be an Al Franken lookalike; Denny's ecstatic).

Kenny's typewriter repair business, Tabs, is clicking along, and he's even taken on some tape recorder and VCR work. What the man can't do with a pair of pliers and a mortgage payment hanging over his head, hunh? Once again, he's been re-elected, unanimously, to his position as recording secretary for the local Kiwanis. Despite having increasingly less (hey, English teachers, I do believe that's what you call an oxymoron!) space to move around in in the kitchen, Jenny's specialized catering service business, Celery Surprise, is the envy of her quilting circle. Denny--no surprise there--ranks number one in his Home School class, and is slowly making progress in conquering his fear of blinking, having distinctly winked at a squirrel the other day during Nature Play. Lenny is quite the self-starter when it comes to burping. What more can a family wish for? Happy Holidays to all, from Kenny, Jenny, Denny, Lenny, (and--news flash!--Penny on the way, eventually!) Kitschie!

Christmas Greetings From The McLarity Family

Ho ho how do you like our "family tree" card this year? Of course it was the brainchild of our own "brain child" Michelle ("Gosh," says, Mick [who got his first pimple this year, but thankfully hasn't fallen into that awful adolescent habit of beginning each of his utterances sentences with "God" like those heinous Goldstein twins across our street], "I wonder if anybody can guess whose idea it was. I mean, duh, look who gets to hold the star?" Michelline, whose own `09 "issues" [cf. last year's card's teary insert] have continued into '10 but who seems to be responding very well thank you to a new medication regimin and having a great time in Ms. Holly's fourth grade homeroom [shout out aside to both Mary Beth and Mary Elizabeth--thanks for the "411" on how to avoid Mrs. Ruden's class! Presents enough, girls!] just said, "I'll take the dumb bell"). She's 17! already! Plump little baba Michelle! Can you believe Mike and Mickie have a child headed off to college in '11?!! Oh, excuse me, Michelle, university! Yes, Michelle is asking for some wisdom (as if her brain has any more room for the stuff!) this Christmas as she must decide from among the thirteen early acceptance acceptances she has already received. Of course, as she's pointed out to her proud forebears, the scholarship offers won't stop rolling in for at least a few weeks. Mike's getting a little antsy with the whole thing because you all know how he MUST MapQuest his destination several months in advance, and God knows where the Michelle-stuff-laden family van will be "truckin'" come late August. Hope August '11 won't be as "fun-filled" as August '10 was. Yes, the McLarity Summer Excursion 2010 was Mike's idea (Mickie's pleas for a return trek to Branson fell on deaf ears from the clan)--a "week in the wilderness." Wild indeed! Mike had to make the trip back to civilization to procure a pound bag of dark chocolate M&M's to coax Michelline out of her two-day wouldn't-budge-from-the-rented-kayak sulk, and how Mick contracted poison ivy you know where, you don't want to know, and Michelle wouldn't talk to Mickie for three days after Mickie ACCIDENTALLY dropped Michelle's new (thanks Dick for the insurance tip) iPhone down a gorge, preventing Michelle from posting our "roughing it" photos on the new McLarity Facebook page (tho kudos indeed to Michelle for setting up the page and maintaining it so religiously with the help of her new "cyber friend" misterfriend68; check out other year 'round family "snaps" here). In the end the nasty family of bears cut short our vacation by a day, but thankfully Michelline was somehow able to communicate with them and they left our "base camp" relatively unscathed (tho a big thanks to the U.S. Park Rangers and Campbell Chevrolet for getting us the new set of keys so quickly). On the "labor" front, Mike's 10,000th driving school student earned her license; no safety brakes on his career! Joyous to leave her job at the county (just in time!), Mickie embarked on a career change (thank you Oprah and Anthony Robbins!). The basket-weaving tutorial business was slow going at first, but things have picked up (I know all of your families will just treasure their new picnic baskets!). Oops, I think I smell the peppermint bark logs burning! I've rambled too much already and know I've just taken up too much of your precious holiday time. Get back to your own baking. Much love and Christmas Cheer from all of us in the McLarity Clan: Mike (48), Mickie (29+ :)), Michelle (17 going on 30!), Mick (13 going on shaving!), and Michelline (9, or as she likes to claim, 63 in dog years!)!