Scratch A Human, Get A Hypocrite

A few years ago, when I was working at a bookstore that also contained a coffeehouse, a younger man (and I'm showing my ageism here: "younger" because he was a couple years younger than I, and not "older guy" because if you're more than five years my senior, you're "old" and I can somewhat excuse such behavior from "older people") came up to me, who had nothing really to do with the coffeehouse, and complained to me, rather vehemently and like I was the root of the problem, that he was served his to go coffee in a paper cup that had another paper cup outside of it (we were out of the those little paper wraps that help you hold the hot cup and not get burned). What a waste, he complained, and went on about how we were destroying the planet because of such waste. He walked away from me when I tried to explain. Walked away and, I swear, got into a large SUV and drove away, leaving me grumbling to myself all the great comebacks about not driving such a fuel-inefficient vehicle and making his own coffee at home and putting it in a travel mug and not wasting the gas to go somewhere simply to buy coffee.

I don't mean to preach here because I'm guilty of so much hypocrisy myself, and besides, I realize my moral standing is pretty low today considering I'm still celebrating a rather inane and vicarious thrill: the Steelers' loss in the Super Bowl yesterday (not the Packers' win; I don't care much about the Packers either way, and I'd be just as happy if any of the other 15 NFC teams had won the Super Bowl, as long as it was at the expense of the Steelers; pretty pathetic, I know, but that's my plight and I'm stuck with it). I guess my only point here is that we're all hypocrites, so we should keep our preaching to all, but especially to strangers, (preach to people you know, they know how to take it from you, and still love you), to a bare minimum.

And so, one of my biggest pet peeves of late. Plastic bags, or, as one customer said to me yesterday when he vociferously and demonstratively (as in throwing it back at me) took issue with me for putting his purchased merchandise in a plastic bag, "the scourge of the Earth" (phew, I thought it was liberals in the classroom). I'm just trying to help you on your way--carrying a bunch of merchandise is a lot easier, usually, when it's all in a bag. Please don't act like I'm clubbing a baby seal in your presence when I am simply putting a few books you've just bought into a bag. And don't make yourself feel all righteous for denying yourself the convenience of a bag. And don't lecture me about how you're saving dear Mother Earth by refusing one plastic bag. At the risk of putting myself out of a job, unless you're buying the books to take home to burn and heat your house, why don't you use the library or get an e-reader? Would the world be a better place if all plastic bags, if all plastic, were eliminated? No doubt, I assume. But the world would be an even better place without a lot of other things, too, like pugnacious, judgmental people, for example.

Here it is, you either want a bag or you don't. You do not have to explain your decision to me. Especially if that decision involves personal politics or your judgment on me, my place of work, or the entire population of scum who are destroying the world. I am not peddling drugs to kids, suggesting euthanizing your grandpappy, or attempting to integrate your world with undesirables (leaving you to define undesirables, naturally), so please don't treat me like I'm abetting the scourging of all things decent by offering to put your precious merchandise in a plastic bag. I don't come into your workplace or life and take inventory of all your environmental trangsgressions and throw them back at you disdainfully, so simply make sure I've given you the correct change, acknowledge, if you feel like it, my wish of a good day to you, and go out and do something constructive to save the world, if that's your pleasure.

Okay, that's off my chest. Thank you for indugling me. Let's get back to the real stuff. I feel your pain, Pittsburgh; it'll get better with time. Trust me.