The Mind Wanders

Random Thoughts While Waiting In a Slow-Moving, Long Line at Wal-Mart With Overstuffed Arms, Too Many Layers of Clothes, and Aches From Head To Toe From Yesterday's Snow Shovel Marathon

• How long will it be before somebody invents and successfully markets an easily attachable/detachable prosthetic third-arm?
• Will Jennifer Aniston ever find lasting romantic bliss?
• If she does, will I be a markedly happier person?
• In a sense everybody is, but hasn't Liz Taylor been dying for at least the last thirty years?
• On July 15, 2011, will my nephew have more golf balls left of the dozen I'm buying him for his birthday than I will have of the dozen friends bought me for Christmas?
• My new Benz handles really well in all this slush (oops, sorry, I was reading the mind of the guy in front of me).
• If this is life, how bad can Purgatory really be?
• Would I rather be in a faculty meeting at an all-girls school discussing dress code regulations? Nope.
• If Ruby hadn't killed Oswald, Oswald would only be about 72 or 73 today. How many conspiracy books would that have saved the world?
• Holden Caulfield would be around 80, I think. Would he give a rat's ass about the ducks?
• That guy paying at the register two aisles over would have been three people behind me if I had stayed in that line.
• Fascination with the check-out line conveyor belt doesn't wane much with age.
• Made to choose, whose music would I rather listen to, Sean's or Julian Lennon's? Can I pick Yoko?
• If I die before reading a word of Ayn Rand, will I be disappointed? Hardly.
• How come no matter how many times I've looked it up, I never remember where Timbuktu is?
• Oh shit, I left my wallet at home.