But what I really hate is one local TV weatherman in particular. This guy:
Mark Johnson of WEWS-TV 5. The guy makes anything above or below a seventy-two degree cloudless, windless day into a catastrophe, and if it's a slow news day, well, Armageddon is on the horizon. A few inches of blowing snow, poor road conditions, and a few truck driver classes canceled stink for us all, granted, and did I mention I hate it, but it's all pretty par for the course in late December in these parts. So, Mr. Johnson, cool your heels a bit, take a Valium, and report, not super-hyperbolize. Please.
On the flip-side, over at WKYC-TV 3 is the anti-Mark Johnson, a cherubic guy named A.J. Colby
who is quickly ascending the ladder to get to the perch where Ted Koppel, the late Peter Jennings, Andrea Mitchell, and my guy Lester Holt reside: TV News Nirvana. A.J. gets it. We in Cleveland are used to this kind of weather hell, so just tell us the facts. A.J. is the calm in Mark Johnson's or anybody else's storm. I don't know why I'm using this metaphor, but for weather in Cleveland in late December it seems apt: A.J. is the undertaker you like and who actually does give you some comfort; Mark is the obsequious one you want to push into the nearest unoccupied casket. I'd happily walk into a tornado with A.J. by my side. If Mark Johnson passed my way on a beautiful June day I'd run helter skelter looking for a tornado.
Which gets me thinking. I offer my services to any major magazine that would like to send me to a TV weather person's convention. All I ask is expenses, and I'll come back with 15,000 words that will inform and entertain. I want to see all these guys gathered somewhere, looking at the latest gizmos available for their hi-tech maps, arguing over whether the gig is tougher in Buffalo or Santa Fe, getting pointers on not standing in the way of the cold front coming in from the west, and hoisting a few cold ones while telling their favorite standing in the middle of the storm stories. What can I say? Some guys get all excited about strip clubs; I just want to be in a large convention hall with scores of TV weather people. And if I see you there, A.J., the first few rounds are on me.
Massive Attack-Weather Storm
I must admit that I do not watch the news. Therefore I have seen neither of these men in action. A.J. just looks more pleasant. Mark looks a little scary.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree! We do not need meterologist that don't get what the viewers want. The Johnson and Tanchak approach are annoying and over-the-top. Betsy Kling is cannot be put into the Johnson-Tanchak team, but she is no AJ either. I'm always glad when he is filling in for the evening shows. Too often they act as if we are foreigners to Cleveland weather. AJ has a nice approach and delivery. He is right on with what we want. AJ, keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey, as Flash would say, if you've already done an earthquake and a hurricane, you might as well do a tornado!
ReplyDeleteI found your post because I HATE this guy and was actually googling to see if anyone else does. He's the Perry Como of weather forecasters...Cannot STAND his ZERO personality and blah blah blah approach... I heard he's just gotten the ax, and I'm ready to throw a party
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