Mark It On Your Calendar: July 1, Bachelor's Day

I realize that with my, oh, baker's dozen of regular readers, I have quite a bully pulpit here. So today I feel like doing some bullying. It's time this country salutes a valuable segment of its population--bachelors. If for no other reason than to goose the economy a bit, and maybe to get some necessary cleaning done, I propose that July 1 be known from now on as Bachelor's Day.

Let's face it, any day now retail stores like my bookstore will be inundated with calendars, Halloween junk, and Jim Nabor holiday CDs. I kid you not. Obviously there's a dearth of things to celebrate for the foreseeable future, now that Mother's Day, Father's Day, and graduations have all gone by the wayside. July 1, immediately after the month of brides, seems to me a fitting day. I'm not asking for much, just a nod or two in the direction of us undervalued and often smirked upon but nonetheless semi-important unattached members of society. Give us express status at the drive-thru at fast food establishments; any man without a wedding ring gets a free stick of beef jerky while he's purchasing his dinner at the local gas station; have the IRS mail us a check for $4.19. Married friends of bachelors can drop by those notorious bachelor pads to offer an hour of much-needed maintenance: cleaning out the fridge, dusting, unclogging a bathroom sink. Hell, if everybody who knows a bachelor bought him one pair of socks every July 1, things would be honky dory in bachelor land, and the economy might get a nice budge out of the deal. It's not like I'm asking for greeting cards, cake, and a hug--whoa, much too intimate. How about it world?