Monday, January 17, 2011

Nothing Says Love Like A Doormat


Well it's holiday time again in the retail world. Not Martin Luther King, Jr. Day but Valentine's Day. Barely twenty-four hours after buying my last Christmas present (some things take time), yesterday I found myself in a home furnishing store. As I was idling at the cash register waiting for the clerk to ring up my orange mango soda (we don't need to discuss why I purchase my lunch beverage at a home furnishing store these days), my eyes strayed to a corner near the door where I saw this sign: Valentine Doormats. Thankfully the sign sat upon a stack of, well, doormats with hearts on them. I say thankfully because in my cloudy mind (from waking up at six on a Sunday morning to go work retail) for a second I thought the sign was marketing directly to me some support group. Just as I was ready to ask the clerk what time the group met and did they provide free donuts, she snapped me out of it by asking if I were a member of the chain's rewards/bonus/frequent shopper's club. Tough choice, if one had the time for only one.

Valentine Doormats--makes me want to form a once-a-year bar band to sing heartbreak songs in dives this time of year.

Makes me want to sponsor a bowling league team and outfit them in burnt pink shirts.

Makes me want to join a Dungeons and Dragons cabal.

Now thank God they weren't also selling Martin Luther King, Jr. doormats. That would be horrible, and the cause of much rancor, boycotting, and legal action. But shouldn't love--dear Cupid--be so protected? Where's the love when we as a people can stand by idly and let love (all we need) be trampled upon so indelicately?

Take a stand fellow lovers: unless you can wear it, eat it, or say "awwwww" over it, don't purchase any item this Valentine's Day Season with hearts or the word "love/luv" on it. Respect love.

Walk All Over You--Mark Kozelek by spitoutyourgumblog

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