Tuesday, January 18, 2011

That Montana Dental Floss Must Work Wonders


First the facts, then we'll see if you come to the same obvious conclusion I have.

In the last month or so the hits on this blog have skyrocketed, from a handful a day to a couple bushels. Nothing to make Drudge allege a left-wing conspiracy, but enough to make me happy. With a little investigation, though, I've found out that the majority of hits are due to two posts I made last May concerning my root canal, find them here and here. I guess people searching for information re root canals are finding their way to this humble cyber abode. I could be happier, but you take what you can get.

In addition, as of yesterday, in the last thirty days I have received at least one hit from 49 different states in the Union. The only holdout? Montana.

Some of you uninformed skeptics out there (just a statement of fact, not a judgment) might conclude that maybe Montanans don't have computers or Internet access. Well, I've received hits from countries I've never heard of, so I can only assume Montana is indeed wired.

Are Montanans actively boycotting this blog? Unless they're all bowlers, metal detector fetishists, or vehement anti-Cleveland sports fans, I tend to doubt it.

Hence, the only conclusion to be drawn: the dental floss in Montana must be so good, and so widely used, that Montanans never need root canals, thus they haven't found their way to this blog, as it seems nearly everyone who does find his or her way to this blog lately has some root problems.

If you recall, back in 1974 Frank Zappa had (for him) a big hit with his song (which Big Brother is preventing me from playing here for all of you), "Montana," in which he claimed,  "I might be moving to Montana soon/Just to raise me up a crop of dental floss." Well, obviously, if Frank indeed didn't make the move and the planting/harvesting, somebody did. And what a crop of dental floss it must have been. No need for root canals in Montana; ergo, no Montana hits on spitoutyourgum.

And so, for the first hit from a Montanan I receive, I'll bundle up a bit of Cleveland dental floss and Fed Ex it out your way, just so you folks can have a good old laugh on all of us sad, missing teeth Clevelanders. BTW, what's the difference between Billings and Butte? That's not a joke, I'm just curious, although I hear Butte has the superior orchestra.

4 comments:

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  2. A chipped tooth can be irritating. tooth filing is a good option. Every time you rub your tongue against the rough surface or look in the mirror at a jagged tooth, you may be wishing you could take care of it yourself without going to the dentist. You may have an exposed nerve if you have any pain with your chipped tooth, then you have to think

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  3. I appreciate your insight about Dental Floss, it's extremely educational and more depicted points of interest.

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  4. An easy and effective way to remove plaque around dental braces and improve gum health is to use a Gurin Water Flosser with the Orthodontic Tip. It is clinically proven more effective than dental floss for people with braces. Learn more about how to floss with braces using a Gurin water flosser.

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