I got into it a bit with my boss this morning (and it had nothing to do with spilled coffee). Actually, he was pretty good about it while I got somewhat testy. I had one good line and then a bunch of griping. Felt better all day afterward, though.
Later I saw a post I made on the Rock Town Hall site, commemorating the fact that "Papa" from "Papa Was A Rolling Stone" died today, September 3rd.
So it all got me thinking. We need an alternative calendar to the usual one filled with national holidays, disease awareness weeks, history/literature months, etc. We need days to celebrate the quotidian, weeks to honor the mundane, months to worship the ridiculous. Herewith, then, the start of a modest proposal to amp the calendar.
January 2: Ah, Screw It Day. That should make for quick euthanasia for all the hopeless New Year's Resolutions.
The second week of the second month, circa February 10: Second Banana Week. Parties, TV retrospectives, drinking games toasting the genius talents of Harvey Korman, Ed McMahon, Dave Davies, George W. Bush.
March 8: Scratch My Back Day. Become more intimate with friends, acquaintances, strangers as the last days of winter make way for joyous spring.
April 15: Don't Tax Me Day. All federal, state, and local sales and whatever taxes suspended for the day, in empathy.
May 23: Hug Your Nemesis Day. Self-explanatory.
June: National Surf Music Month. Violators caught listening to anything else this month will be waterboarded.
July 7: Uncle Day. Buy the lovable lout a beer or a lick-on tattoo or a Bob Seger disc.
August 15-22. Worship Teachers Week. As the poor pedagogues get set for another long school year, feed them grapes, kiss their feet, buy them vodka tonics.
September 3: National Tell Your Boss Off Day.
October 10: Weird-ass Co-worker Awareness Day.
November: Take Your Child Seriously Month.
December 14: National Read Ayn Rand Day. Nothing could top that for making you realize the true meaning of Christmas.
Ass Ponys-Calendar Days
No comments:
Post a Comment