Paper or Air?

I've always considered myself a rather straight forward, opinionated not wishy-washy guy. With most of the necessary choices offered me, there isn't much musing: I know what I like. Surf or turf? Turf. Wilma or Betty? Betty. Heads or tails? Tails. Beatles or Stones? Stones. Toilet paper unspooling from over the top or from under the bottom? Over the top. Laverne or Shirley? Leather Tuscadero.

So imagine my surprise today while in a public restroom when I turned from the sink and saw both a towel dispenser and a hand blow-dryer on the wall. I would think most places don't offer a selection; you get either one or the other and live with it. And surely I've been in such smorgasbord-offering public loos before, but I've never felt the existential angst that gripped me today, as I stood there with dripping hands and wondered, nay, worried about which method to pick to dry my hands. Is there a correct choice in this matter, as there obviously is with the Beatles/Stones question? Of course the hand blow-dryer industry will have you believe that their product is much more environmentally friendly and healthier, but I take all such boasting with a large grain of skepticism. Certainly paper towels require less time, but really, when you think of it, they also--counter-intuitively--require more work. More work, less time: that's a weird sell.

Mind you, I didn't really consider all this while my hands dripped. I quickly yanked on the handle, tore off a good-sized wad of towel, dried my hands, disposed of the wet towel in the waste basket and went on my way, a way though, that for two hours has been nagging me. Did I do the right thing? The best thing? The more I ponder, the less I'm sure about anything, as if after all these years, a night out with Laverne at Red Lobster with the Beatles on constant repeat suddenly sounds like heaven. I know that using towel dispensers and expending all the required effort can be awfully skeevy at times, but there's something about standing alone in a public restroom rubbing my hands vigorously under a machine forcefully blowing hot air that makes me feel like a skeeve, not just feel skeevy.

Help me out here, I just don't know. Maybe I need to go to Costco and buy a package of a thousand moist towelettes and carry them around with me everywhere I go from now on. Either that or just work on crossing my legs more effectively.

Talking Heads-Air

Talking Heads-Paper